their happy ending.

hurm. they kinda got into a big fight.

that's why we have to end this friendship.

ok. i try to understand.

so its over. i'm better now.

tears makes me stronger.

then i texted his gf.

and told her. i was sorry for everything :)

n etc. ( you dont have to know )

haha. and as you know.

i love people easily. haha :P

but.wtv.

i dont know how to explain how this fact links to the story.

nvm then. and i talked to her.

blahblahblah.

and i ask her to forgive him, for me.

n finally she forgives him.

good for them. at least they have their happy ending.

and i'm glad for them. i just wished we(he n i) could be friends.

but if we really cant. its ok.

then i told her that she knows she loves him.

n i told him that he loves her too.

n etc. just to make sure they're ok.

haha :P

so i'm over.

disappearing slowly into thin air. haha. wee~ :)

i love both of them. :P

the last for me.

i guess. this is my last post.

i cant believe its gonna end this way.

never thought bout it.

maybe. just let me describe my feelings in bm right now.

for the last time maybe.

haaa..betapa peritnye hatiku menerima kenyataan

kenyataan yang tidak pernah terlintas di fikiran ku.

tidak pernah ku terfikir aku akn kehilangan seorang kawan

yg aku sayang. begini.

sakitnye. mungkin tidak pernah akan hilang.

mungkin tidak pernah akan luntur.

kerna kenangan itu telah tersemat rapi dan abadi di hatiku.

kini.badanku terase lemah. bagaikn jiwaku diambil dari badanku.

ku terasa. badan ku sejuk.meremang

tanganku menggigil. tidak terdaya untuk menaip.

ku gambarkan perasaan ku perlahan-lahan.

memandang screen ini. terasa betapa kosongnya fikiran ku sekarang.

maaf. dikau meminta supaya aku tidak mengalirkan air mataku.

tetapi. air mataku mengalir tanpaku sedari.

maaf aku tidak dapat menyempurnakan permintaan mu.

kerna aku adalah aku.

yang lemah dan penuh kasih sayang.

aku tidak mengerti semua ini.

kini. semuanya kabur.

dikau pergi. bersama kasih sayang ku dikau menghilang

mungkin. aku perlu lupekan semua ini bukan?

bersama kenangan manis ku juga?

derita ini. terlalu berat untuk ku tanggung.

aku tidak janji padamu yg aku akn melupakan mu.

tapi. ku janji ku akan cuba jua.

seharusnya, aku telah jangka semua ini akn berlaku bukan?

ya. mungkin aku telah tahu.

mungkin. selama ini aku memang tahu.

cuma. tidak ku sangka pengakhirannya akn jadi begini.

tebih teruk dari yg ku sangkakan.

sebelum ini. tatkala ku memikirkan pengakhirannya.

jiwa ku resah.gelisah.gundah.gulana.

setiap ayat setiap kata. semua dusta.

kini. ape yang ku rasakan?

jiwa ku. tiada. bagaikan dirobek keluar dari diriku.

perit...sakit...namun. apakah daya?

itulah kelemahan diriku.

aku berharap. suatu hari nanti.

semua ini akn berlalu jua.

aku kesal akn semua yang terjadi.

tapi aku berterima kasih kerana bertemu dengan dikau.

setidaknya. aku mempunyai teman baru.

tapi kini aku akn kehilangan seorang teman lama.

kini. kita adalah kenangan.

dibawa angin. terbang tinggi ke langit.

aku berharap. suatu hari nanti.

bila dikau pandang ke langit.

dikau akn igt pada ku.

kerna aku, sebagai seorang sahabat.

akan sentiasa berada di situ selagi dikau masih ingat padaku.

kini. akhirnya, aku perlu berhadapan dengan kebenaran.

yg ku gentar selama ini.

aku..............................................................................

aku...........................................................

aku...................................

tidak tergambar perasaan ku kini.

aku buntu.

hatiku. telah kosong.

dikau kata, aku akn bertemu dgn org lain.

mungken benar. tetapi. mengapakah persahabatan ini perlu berakhir?

aku maseh tidak mengerti.

tetapi. kebahagiaan dikau. adalah kebahagiaan diriku.

segala yang terbaik untuk dirimu.

adalah yang terbaik buat diriku.

ya. kini aku pasrah.

aku berdoa.supaya dikau sentiasa bahagia.

sentiasa. dan selamanya.

aku harap. aku dapat ungkaikan segalan perasaan dan luahan di lubuk hati ku ini,

namun.aku tidak terdaya untuk menerus kn segala ini.

aku.......................................

(*/missing text/*)

flashbacks :(

i was out today..
buying some stuff n etc.
blah blah blah.
and then i felt a vibration in my pocket.
well, obviously, its my phone,
* 1 new message *
from 017211****
ohh. its *him* .
i'm quite shocked. coz. its been weeks since we last texted.
2 weeks n 2 days.
and when i saw his number.
suddenly all those memories came flashing back.
n how i've missed him. awe~ :P
btw, guess what did he say.
"oit. elow. heheh. ade org nk no. wa bule? name ie **. cousn *** uwh. huhu"
i was kinda upset i guess.
but i dont exactly know why. hurm..
then i replied,
"hurm? suke atie *** lah. as long as u're happy"
somesort like that i think. hahah.
n finally he replied.
"heheh.tpew2. *** x bg. jgn majuk k. k2. tc. gud job for gettin 8as. heks."
and suddenly, i dont get it.
what is he trying to say? or show? or wtv.
i dont know. hurm..
but i just misses him back.
haha. adoi! :P
wish we could stay friends.
now i kinda feel akward texing him or sumthin.
even a little.
coz.. idk. heh. well. thats it bout him.

n today. i kinda fight with my sis yesterday.
till today.
so i dont talk to her till now.
and.... i dont really know how to describe this feeling.
umm..so thats it. i'm off. thaa~

says who?

says facebook :

that there is no such thing as conditional love.

Love is either unconditional or it's no love.

You might like someone conditional on their personality or behavior or circumstances.

But love accepts no boundaries.

So never say 'I love you because', for love has no cause,

love comes from God.

sayangss!

i have a new blog keyh.
so i'm gonna have 2 blog.
both are gonna be active :)
one is the sad blog and the other is the happy blog.
haha..just check it out.
you'll know what its all about later. :)
read both blogs ok? :)

http://wawarebirth.blogspot.com/

tired..

sorrylah tapie..
post kali ni dlm bm.
tade mood..
haha.. pnat sungguh,,
5 jam dah ngadap laptop nie,
now dah pkol 4.45 am,
bjet nk cri blog pnye layout yg lwa
tpie hampeh. :(
sobs..last2 sme x gne..aduisyy..
mate pon nk lebam dah nih.haish :(
end up, stick to plain.
yess! i love plain stuff !!
and i love black!

me and my heart we got issues :)

Sometimes
I Feel like I’m going out of
My mind,

Boy the way you do me is a
damn crime,

But then you smile at me
and its all right,

With you there aint nothin' in between,

Every time that I walk out the door,
Tell myself I can't take it no more,

There’s a part of me won't let you go
Keep saying yes when my minds saying no,

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Its so wrong, boy you leave me hangin' for so long,
You empty out my love until its all gone,
You change the words but still it's the same song,
I’m tired of the melody.

Change my number and throw out your clothes,
But my feelings for you, it still shows,
I keep building the walls round my heart,
But then I see you, and it all falls apart...

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Why fight it, cant hide it
Truth is I think I like it,
Confusion, illusions
Still I don’t know which way to go….

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues,
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues

Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know whether I should hate you or miss you.

continuation :))

wahh..i can make a story here..
feel like i wanna tell you everything..
haha.. my dear blog :)) wee!~
so this is next.
yesterday. we did text a little.
and then i ask him if he is still not allowed to text me.
and he said, yup. sorry.
so i was like, ok. can i ask you a favor?
and he asked, whats the favor?
i answered, do you mind if we text like usual on the last day of holz before i go back to school?can you forget bout the rule for a sec?
n he was like, maybe ok, i'll ask my gf first, is it ok?
i wanted to say no, its ok, dont ask, just think for yourself n etc,
but then i didnt get to reply it coz i have tution .
3 hours later.....
i continue texting his gf n i reply his text,
and told him not to ask n etc.
without knowing...
it was too late, he asked his gf already..
haishh :( and his gf told me...
i kinda feel guilty though.
although his gf actually allows him to.
thats because we're really good friends already.
and she said that she dont mind me and him being friends.
i mean, that good right?
but i dont feel right, i feel like there's something not right, why? n what?
hahah..btw, although she agrees
that makes me dont really wanna text him,
cause.................hurmm.......complicated,
you get what i'm trying to say?
i know you're a clever blog! ahahaha :)
i'm going crazy already. yeay! lol +_+
so... i dont really know if we're going to be texting each other before i go back to school.
n i dont really care though.
or am i acting like i dont care?
i dont know. i dont even know whats real and whats not anymore.
haha.blahblahblah..
i really dont know what i should do.
so, help me?

i wanna smile on the outside so no one would know how i feel inside
i wanna cry but i will be strong
i wanna change the lyrics but the melody is still the same
i wanna hate you but i miss you
i wanna be with you but i hope you're far away from me
i'm a small child full of confusion
and confusion helps me to grow stronger and better

uncomplete story

whoa! its been ages since i wrote on my blog..

but.. what the hell..

thing have gotten worse lately..

i mean.. right now,, i have lots of issues! haha :)

but who cares~ i mean,, i care. if i dont then i wouldnt be my issues right?

but still.. its been the old boring crazy happy me.. :)

always smiles on the outside. haha :)

i can even laugh when i cry. how cool is that? hee~

soo...what do you wanna know first?

my sister's story? or mine?

well.. before i tell you the story. there's sumthin that you should know,

i dont fight for boys, dont argue for boys, n will never ever sacrifice my friendship for boys.

so here goes the story..

currently. i had this highschool crush on a boy.

and, whats worse.. he's nice... i mean. real nice!~ :)

i can even talk to him like a friend.

its really hard for me to talk to a boy like a friend you know.

but of course. i wasnt expecting anything from him.

since i know he already hav a gf that he loves.

n technically. her gf had just become my friend, a few days ago i guess..

so, that makes it worse cz *i wont sacrifice my friendship for boys*

things were going well before that.. n before she became my friend.

not that when she become my friend she changes everything, no..

its just as a timeline. hahah :))

well.. we texted n talk n it was nice.. at least i liked it.

haha :) well, he just makes me feels better.

just as a friend. hahah. and then. suddenly..this one day......

he told me. that we cant text each other anymore.

because his brother keep complaining and his gf wont allow him n he had promised her.

so i was kinda pissed act. but.. i'm not really good at showing it i guess..

haha..n i was like. fine. wtv. its your decision. as long as you're happy, etc.

truthfully. i was really pissed off. it was a heartbreak though.

i mean. he was my friend right. a real good friend of mine.

i would really like to continue as friends.

i really hate losing friends u know,~

so..its over, although he says that, we can be friends, meet, talk and all those.

just not text and call, but its hard to be friends when you cant even text.

seriously...then~ the first day was hard.

i cant even look at my phone. n i didnt reply some of my friends msg, sorry.

n didnt even pick up their calls. sorry again. the phone was not with me,

haha.. i feel like crying but NO. i have to be tough, haha,

but it does hurt to just like suddenly stop like that.

then the next day. i hav to follow them, including him.

to genting. her gf was there, no offence, i dont care,

haha, but i was bored, because, its not like that i wanted to come,

its i have to come. so....wtv, i was kinda alone though. how boring~ my legs ache!

walk to much, alone, n non stop, haha :)

we did talk to each other. i did try to act normal,

so, its normal. and that night was when i started to be friends with her, *his gf*

cz they got into a fight n..........it was hard.

trying to be friends with both. i dont even know who to walk with.

n who to really talk with. but i utamekn perempuanlah. haha.

adoii!~ then the next day she texted me n we've been friends till now.

you can even say good friends, its complicated and hard.

try to be in my place. you're being a really good friend with your crush's gf.

and the person that wont allow him to text me even as a friend.

its quite in-the-box-thought you know.

haha :) anyway. i still misses him and i'm texting his gf 24/7 :)

haha..i'm screwed! i'm lost!i dont even know what i'm doing.

and her gf knows that i misses him and all those,

but i think she just cant accept me being her bf's friend.

which i still cant understand why.. i mean. WHY?

haha, but its ok. i dont wanna think about it anymore.

my job is to be a good friend to everyone.

i dont really care bout myself anymore,

who cares what i feel. haha..it's just me :) the invisible me..

btw, *he* , nice being friends with you. it was nice knowing you, n thx 4 everything, dont know if we're still gonna be friends. but i hope we can text on the day before i go back to school. there's just too many things that i wanna tell you! haha :)

*she* i'm still your friend :) dont worry too much bout me. ily as much as you luv me :) sorry for everything. disturbing your life or wtv. haha. good to know that u really wanna be friends with me :) stay friends n remember *i dont argue for boys* cz u almost argue with me because of him. haha

lbnl. i dont know what to do right now.

cz i'm so lost.

gawshh!~

agagagaga....
made a decision :))
risking myself..
wont mind getting hurt,
haha :))
live my life to the fullest! hehe ^_^

btw, havent start stdy yet,
hmm. worried but lazy. hehe.
scared to start tution without friends,
lazy to make new friends though,
haha.at least, not on the first day :)
mayb on the 2nd day, haha
hmm. hav lots of stories.
but maybe too personal to share it here. haha
so.. till then,
wish me the best of luck in everything, haha~

sad :(

hmm..
things are getting worst,
i'm falling apart,
just wait till tomorrow,
the last day of school.
i'm gonna tell both of you how you've neglected me.
and how obvious it is.
till then....

what do i do, WITHOUT 'YOU-KNOW-WHO'

You ask me how my day was as if it is same everyday
I say that I'm okay but you really don't know how I feel
Do you think I will be okay without you?
Will you be okay without me?
It is really hard to live in this world without you
That is why I blame myself for still breathing

What should I do? Even now, I live these painful days because of what you said
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Do you live every single day painfully like me?
You and me.

Are we too late? Do not we have a chance?
I still think about you and you might know this
Is it finally this? Are we going to end up like this? Is it okay with you?
I don't think I can do it. The love that I found by meeting you, I wont find it anywhere else even if I die

What should I do? If it isn't you, no one else can be in my heart
Please hold me. And you know that even though the whole world would try
No one can erase your memories. So please hold me.

What should I do? Even now, I live these painful days because of what you said
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Do you live every single day painfully like me?
You and me.

Is it too late? Do not we have a chance?
But me, I still think about you, and you might not know it.

syira, this is for you. ilysmgb now and always

Remember when we could laugh at nothing all day ?

And when I needed a helping hand, you were never far away?

Do you remember when we were almost inseparable ?

Now, I don’t know what’s going on , it’s all so unstable .

Things started moving to fast ,

It seems like I’m only living in the past .

All my closest friends are drifting to far away ,

My skies went from rainbow, to a dark, dull grey .

It seems like there’s no free time left in my day ,

Everyone I love is keeping up, and leaving me in dismay .

I just wish for things to go back to the way they were ,

Not this fast paced life that goes by like a blur .

It’s not that I can’t keep up with this sort of lifestyle ,

It’s that I don’t have the time to take a fresh breath and smile .

So I may be selfish for wanting things to go back to being right ,

But I just want everything to be alright .

No more bad news ,

And no more backstabbers to leave a bruise .

Is it so wrong to wish things were okay ?

So wrong to want bad to leave, and good to stay ?

That’s all I want, nothing more ,

I just want things to go back to how they were before …

life's suffering me!

sorry,
but i'm too tired for all this,
too tired to wipe the tears,
too tired to get my heartbroken,
too tired to even watch.
i thought you knew me.
but i was wrong.
i'm sorry for expecting more than i should,
but i am really disapointed.
in me and both of you.
thanks for everything but i've had enough already.
i love you more than i love myself,
i swear, i would even risk my life for you.
but this is what you repay me,
thank you, sincerely from me.
but i want no more.
i'll start over next year.
we'll see what happen.
i'll try to make it work though i know its quite impossible.
i have faith in you,
and i believe in everything you do.
n i beg you,
dont suffer me anymore.
trusting you is the only thing i have right now.
and the only thing i am doing.
please dont change.
please dont go.
please dont leave.
stay with me.
losing you had been the worst thing ever happened to me.
WORST!
sorry for everything i've done
i've never meant to hurt you or anyone.
the pain will never go away.
the wound will never heal.
the scar will always stay.
watching you so far away.
i wish you all the happiness you can get.
sorry for being such a jerk.
remember, how i look on the outside is not what i feel on the inside.
i hope they do take great care of you.
anyone who wanna hurt you have to go through me first keyh.
do take care coz you're the only one i care for.

i love you now, always and forever.
i wish i could turn back the time.
but we both know. its too late.

forgive me..

wawa! dont give up!

Don’t dwell on your criticisms.
When someone‘s giving you a negative feedback
take it as an opportunity to learn and grow,
not a reason to quit.

afraid of campaign! be tough! confident! :)

Dr. Robert Schuller once said
“You are what you think about all day long”.
This statement is true when it comes to public speaking.
We all have this preconceived notion about
the things we can do and the things we cannot do.
I have heard some people say
“Oh…I am such a terrible speaker”
When I ask them how many speeches they have given so far,
they would say “ Well… none”
How can you assume that you are not good at something
even before trying it?

Change these self -sabotaging beliefs you are holding in your mind.

You can become a good speaker only when you believe you can.

hustle and bustle +_+

huh! what a hectic life!
can't even find time to update my blog +_+
hahah~
finished pmr is not all that great and cool..
we're not even that free..
well, mayb the first three days we were free..
but then.. not anymore,
hahah,
there's just too many things to do!
drama,co curriculum day,birthday girl,add maths,performance n more!
and the latest is MAJAKA
which stands for majlis jalinan kasih :)
well, n there's carnival in the evening~
coolio~ +_+
hahah, i'm in charge for performance :) with some of my friends.
haha. including my best friend, ADIBAH
haha. nice!~
n the good news is that, tarian's n bowling's proposal had been accepted!
wee~ n we have to do exhibition for robotic too.
so i'm gonna be extremely buzy :)
i like to be buzy though..
prevents me from thinking about something useless :)
haha!~ OMG!
that reminds me of......
the robotic's exhibition!
the pictures!info!track!games!face painting!shirt painting!
ohh~ i have to plan quick!
i havent even buy things for the tarian's stall..
i really should check up with the president..
see if she had done the permission letter for us to go out and buy some stuff..
haha +_+ ,
ouh, just got the information,
it's not allowed by the pk hem,
aish! omg2!
robotic is so0o0o freakin' cool!
our booth gonna be like whoa!
haha :) i'm thrilled!
we've added some stuff just now,
so it's gonna be better!yeay!
and i get to do some scribbling~ yes!
haha :) love art love dance love work
but i really hate when i did something wrong
and lately, as a pmc, i did too many wrongs
and i was like, 'what the?! whats happening with myself?!'
i mean,seriously,
whats up with all this mistakes?
am i nuts? urgh! gosh!
i cant afford to do anymore mistakes,
seriously! and i hope i won't.
please!~
yesterday,we did something wrong,
though its not really 100% our fault,
but the person didnt admit,
hmm..pride i guess,
well, that makes me respect her less,
and today,we did something wrong, AGAIN!
and that really pissed me off~ aish,
btw,i'm really2 absolutely buzy right now,
so, sorry if i dont really talk to you (whoever that is)
i'll be free on nex week.
pray that i dont make anymore mistakes +_+
please~~

embrace the madness

Behind this mask

There exists

A space between bone and flesh

Between truth and deception

This place is empty

Free of emotion, of fear, of condescension (you agree to do something which you do not consider to be good enough for your social position)

Unscathed (without injuries or damage being caused) by the corrupting pains of society

This place is the refuge (protection or shelter from danger, trouble, unhappiness, etc) for all who dared to stand apart from the rest

For all who fell into the gamble of life and lost there bet

This place is one which is shared but unknown

Its residents know not of each other and not of each others doings

But only of themselves and the enveloping closure which surrounds them

This place of tranquility (calm) and neutral ambivalence (having two opposing feelings at the same time, or being uncertain about how you feel)

Is one which can hide and heal the bleeding wounds

Gouged (to make a hole in something in a rough or violent way) into the estranged soul for the lack of uniformity

(somesort cm 2 soul yg terpisah cz tade chemistry gitu?)uish..x pham..hahah..

To find this place is both a blessing and a curse

Living within the confines (limit) of the space can take its toll

Like a drug it becomes a tiring addiction

In which it will only aid the triumph (a very great success or a feeling of great satisfaction) of your affliction (something that makes you suffer)

With bloodied arms and bitter tongues

Rip free this mask and dispel this environment

Irony (a situation in which something which was intended to have a particular result has the opposite or a very different result) in itself

The comforting home, the poisonous succubus

The means of escaping reality and fact

Tear free this mask and face life and society

Tell it who and what you are

Convey your emotions, fill your eyes

With the adversity (a difficult or unlucky situation or event), the pain, the torture you were bared in

Make clear you are finished, veiling (uncover something) your true emotion

Write on the walls, scream raving and mad

Be proud of your insanity (when something is not sensible), embrace (to accept something enthusiastically) it as a persona (the particular type of character that a person seems to have, which is often different from their real or private character)

Paint in maddened frenzy, write in dizzy verse

Sing in melancholy (sad) rhythm, dance in flailing (to move energetically in an uncontrolled way) aneurisms

Call forth the madness which has been suppressed for so long

Its time to shine is now, its time to hide is gone

Let it pulse through out your body

Let it imbibe (receive into the mind and retain) and take hold of your life

Jump forth into this new found pride

Feel the pressures of society subside ( To sink to a lower or normal level/ To become less agitated or active)

life's not easy

I don't want to cry,

but sometimes I need too.

I won't try to lie

what I'm missing now is you.

A promise in time,

few words in a rhyme.

Trying to be more then a friend you left behind.

This nightmare awakes,

two realities break.

When I look at myself I see a fake.

Life's not easy, but I will try for you...

Waking up in pain,

trying to understand.

Please accept that I'm insane,

then you might see who I am

Lost somewhere out there,

chasing songs in the air.

I try to be myself knowing no one cares.

Family and Friends,

hearts that pretend.

I accept that I'm the worst of them.

Life has meaning, but I'm losing faith too...

Angel spreads his wings,

and teaches me to fly.

Life's not what it seems,

if you gave up then don't ask why.

Cold as a stone,

left all alone.

I said goodbye today to the life i own

It wasn't easy, but it was worth a try.

hoi AUDY..

sorry lah wei...
FOR EVERYTHING!
aku tau kte byk gyler bwat slh kt each other kn..
aku pn tatau knape sme ni berlaku..
nk kembali ke masa lalu mmg x mungkin..
kte hnye boleyh baiki mase akn datang kn?
maaf....klau kao rase aku dh hapuskn peluang itu,
aku x bermaksud..dan aku tahu..
kte masih mampu baiki..
lagipon..kao kate.. kao dh x percaye aku lg kn..
kita sama-sama cari kepercayaan itu nanti..
kte same2 dh x rse sayang itu sebanyak dulu lagi kn?
knyataan yg kao ungkap kn dulu..
masih berbisa di hati ku..
begitu juga kenyataan aku..
masih berbisa di hati mu kn?
namun..kini..ape yg kte mampu lakukan,
adalah berlakon, agar tiada siapa tahu kisah kita..
aku mintak maaf sangat2 dgn ape yg aku bwat b4 nih..
sorry!
tu je yg aku mampu ckp..
aku terpakse....
x pernah bermaksud nk lukekn hati kao..
we used to act like everything's ok,
but it's not!
n we knew it. we just dont wanna make it worse..
i've never meant to blame anything on you..
n stop with the number 3 thing! please!
you're suffering me..it wasnt from my heart!
please!
you dont know all the things i'm going through right now..
no one knows..
but i know you know how i feel..
n i hope we both wont do things that could make this worst..

today is so0o.. *&^%$#

c'mon lah.. WTH??!
bangun2 dh nk bising!
urgh!dh ah x ckp pape smalam..
tetibe nk blk kg arini..
bkn ah wa kesah if nk blk..
FINE! org boleh ikot!
tapi c'mon lah,
seriously dude!
what the **** ?!
nk jugak ruins everyone's day kn..?!
xde consideration lgsg!
the i went to take my bath, 9.30 am,
they were fighting..
(finished my bath)
they were still fighting..
cant really describe how i feel..
*speechless*
I HATE THIS HOME!
the only reason i went back home
is to have a freakin good night sleep
away from everything!
n yet! i cant get away from YOU!
ALL OF YOU!!
we're big enough already..
n for heaven sake!PLEASE!
understand us already..!
how long have you all lived together?
A WEEK!?!
n please! again..i say..PLEASE!
stop,stop n STOP nagging!
there's just some things that is not our cup of tea..
n some things we cant do..
n we dont wanna do..
wasn't that normal for children..??
what do you expect???!!
u want us to follow everything you say?
be a robot n do it like a robot too?
you want us to shut our mouth??
then we're not even gonna talk to you right?!!
n what's with the message mum?!
stop acting stupid everyone!!
please! get over yourself..
n stop all this ****!
once n for all!~

semalam..

ouh.. gila byk mknn bkk puase!!
haha :) seronok..
plus, my sis msk pasta, yummy!
n kteorg pegi shopping smalam!
lglah seronok..
banyak beli baju ouh,,
tp...family punye pasal,,
dh jd x sronok..pnjg sgt cte nye..
tp klau stakat nk mrh kteorg
mrh kt umah pon boleyh..asl nk kne kuar!?!
ARGGGH!!

deskie ohh deskie

we should never had that stupid fight

nex year kte same klas lagih kn?
pelik, tetapi benar,
terkejut tetapi kenyataan,
takut tetapi gembira,
kita.......adalah kita....
sentiasa..selamanya ?
kebenaran, aku takut..
sangat~

ohh..tiz week's story..

firstly,, i got 7a n 1b 4 trial..
n yet! i still tron klas,
haish~ very sad indeed..
tp nk bwat cne,haish..
xpelahh...i will prove myself :)
tgk ah nex year! hahah :))
then..jd pmc..
tiz is the 1st time f3 jd pmc :)
kteorg ni kre cm bhn cubaan lahh nihh..
hahah..seronok, me likeyy~
sangat suka bwat duty2 inih..
tapi......................
mmph..xpelahh,,
n then..2day,
my bro sangatlah poyo ckp IQ dye sangatlah tinggi
so kteorg pon lawanlahh..
bwat iq test kt internet..
sshlahh jgak test dye..
n gez what! i win!!
yipeee~!!
huahuahua..pmr dah dekat..
sangatlah x sbr nk abes pmr..
nk study mende laen lak,,
nk planning byk bende lgih..
n nk kuar ngan kengkawan!!!
hee~ :)
keyh2..hav 2 go.. mayb study,mayb not..
muahahahaha :)
raya dah dekat,, bju rye pon tade,
ntah blk kg ntah x,
pape je lahh :))

babysitter?

today...hahah..malam semalam me n my mom x tdo..
x tau ah cne kteorg bley survive..
but afta sboh me tido lahh..haha :)
this petang..i pegi beli barang2..
hurm.. money~ spent until negatif..
hahah..bgg sket..but what to do..xley regret..
i luv 2 shop :)
then2 balek2 uh.. tetibe dgr baby nges..
"waaaaaaa~hwaaaaa~~~"
omg! my aunt left her baby here..
not tertinggal yeah..its meninggalkan~
hahah :) n then...
guess who make her stop crying?
ME!

so yeah..dukung2 dye..jalan2 sme..
n then my bro pegi kacau n then dye nanges blk..
urgh! then kne pujuk2 dye bgai...
gave her a card..
then dye stop nanges jap..
then my bro kacau balek! ish!
rse nk tendang je my bro..hahah..
then i bwk dye naek my room..
naseb baek my room byk~ sgt teddies!
so dye maen ngan bear2 tu sume..
but i still ngah dukung dye..the whole time!
very lenguh lah my hand..pheuhh~
nk dukung dye n all the bears~
haish..n then i duduk lah..baru duduk muke dah masam blk..
dye tolak2 kaki..n say..
" naek..naek.."
n then i hav to bgn blk bwk dye jln2..
then i duduk blk..(nk maen com ah)
then dye tolak2 kaki dye lgih..
"alaa..x nk duduk ke?" "xnk..xnk.."
aish.. bwk dye jln2 lgih..
n finally i said..
"alaa..duduklahh..akak penatlah..."
tnpe bertimbang rse, me duduk n bkk laptop..
hahah :) tnjk dye video korean sumer..aiyo0~
n then nk on9 at the same time..
so, fb half of the page, n movie half of the page.
hahah:)

sangat ssh nk on9..plus..i'm on the bed n i can't move!
cz she's sitting on my lap!
so there goes my free babysitting service..
hahah :) n btw,,her name is.
**RAIHANA**

DUTY CALLS!

very..very..tiring day..
first day of work for this holiday..
well..sometimes..duty calls :)
shit, dh r ngah cite bes kt tv.. ish3..
too bad..ngantok gyler ah nw nih..
nk abeskn nih.. then tidoo..
haish..runsing! with essay n karangan lgih!
gosh! x siap2! so dead! better be done by 2moro.
huh..well..about work today..
hahah :) jadi cikgu..
teaching year 3 students..
rase pelik..but..its fine..
hahah..they were so FUN!
when was the last time i had fun?!
couldn't remember..thats just what happen when you grow up.
well, i got this really good news 2day.
i'm really excited! indeed..hahah :)
quite suprising..seriously..just so sudden..
huh! dont know how 2 describe my feelings..
but i was glad at the same time worried..
well then..i know she's gonna fit in real well n real fast!
thats what i'm worried of..but..
whatever..think bout it later..
then..2ndly..about my family..
i'm really dissapointed in them..
this ramadhan is the worst!
there's just no connection anymore..
who knows...................
last overnyte you're happy n the next you're not
should really appreciate family when it existed..
so......yeah........i guess that's it for 2day..
everyone's doing their own thing..at their own place..
yeah2..just get lost~

EFFY! thank you..

those three words are said too much,

i'm afraid they dont mean a thing anymore,

expressing them is even harder than i thought,

to make you feel the samething can kill me.

listen to the words i say,

people care bout you more than you expect,

just play along with the music,

you'll be happy in no time, girl!

hearts broken,harsh words,

eyes narrowing,friendship's gettin hurt,

these are already a routine for us,

i say there's a silver lining behind every cloud.

never breakdown nor let tears get you down,

they are more than just a waste,

try living a fairytale; full of smiles,

just remember thai i do, LOVE you!

EFFY!

result..

ahhahha..

speechless..

mmg x memberangsangkan lahh..

tapi..alhamdulillah..

tadelahh trok sgt kn..

nw nihh.. dh dpt 6 subs..

n 6a..tp mls nk list mrkh..

coz marks tadelah up sgt..

yg blom dpt lgih..bm n bi..

yg plg wa x pndai..berserah je lahh..

i've tried my best..if nex yer tron class,

nk bwat cne..haha..

hopefully tak ah..we'll just see..

now.

" i miss you,

i miss your smile,

n i still shed a tear,

every once in a while,

n eventhough its different now,

you're still here somehow,

my heart wont let you go,

n i need you to know,

i miss you"

i miss "WE"

my heart wont let you go..

but i know i hav 2 let you go..

i will. i promise..

all i ask from you is..

dont you ever dare to forget our

friendship that we used to care so much.

our friendship that is carved with our name..

n surrounded with the word love

used to be protected by the chain of loyalty.

and lock with forever you n me

n finally broken with tears.

i love you..now n always..

now..

we hav 2 go our own ways..

live our separate life..

all this..

had kill the soul in me..

wawa..

had gone now..

n never to be found..

one day..

when i'm ready..

when everything is over..

that is where i will be me..

the truth..

lately nihh...

mmg byk prob.... banyakkkkkkk sangat..

penat sangat2..ngan trial nyerh lgih..

tipu ah kteorg x mnanges..

umm.. ssh sgt nk diungkapkan ngan kate2 kn?

x pnah sangke akan jadi mcm nih..

act bende nih b4 trial..

but kteorg ckp nk smbong afta trial..

then that day, afta trial..

kteorg bwatlahh mesyuarat tergempar..

tak tau lah ape resolution dye..

we were speechless..

masing-masing dah tak tau nk ckp ape..

till this one day...

ade org hadapi prob cm kteorg gak..

n kteorg due2 kt situ ntok tolg dyeorg..

its funny how u r supposed 2 help people

when ur own prob blom settle kn?

so.. afta kteorg tolg dyeorg..

we decided to settlekn ours..

keputusan nyer.. mmg x dijangke..

sakett sangat ati ble dengar dye ckp cmtuh..

hampa..kecewa..sedihh..

tak mahu.. tapi harus...

sayang.. tapi x sanggup..

mlm tuh.. cne keadaan wa.. hanya mreka yg tahu..

rela mmg rela.. tapi berat!

mmg rindu sangat knangan lame..

rindu sangat2.. rindu saat kami bahagia bersama..

keadaan mcm nih.. mmg jauh sgt dri fikiran ku..

x sangke.......x pnah sangke!

hari ini akan tiba.. sometimes..

kne terpaksa sacrifice kebahagiaan diri,

ntok kebahagiaan org yang kita sayang kn?

wa ckp..

" wa xnk tgk dye titiskan air mate lgih

lps ni, xnk tgk dye titiskan air mate ntok mreka,

klau mreka brani lukekan hati dia...

wa xkn maafkan mreka.."

sayang ituh..mmg sakit, pedih, perit..

itulah balasan selepas segala kebahagiaan

yang kita dapat..aku pernah pilih kao..

n aku x pnah menyesal..x pnah same skali..

thank you.. ntok sgale kebahagiaan

yang kao pernah bagi aku..

dye cakap, " mmg kao yang paling aku syg,

tapi skarang ni mreka besties aku "

aku x faham ayat dye..x mengerti..

ape yang dia cuba sampaikan..

yang aku tahu.. zaman kegemilangan kami..

telah pun berakhir.. sepahit mana kenangan ini..

aku tetap akan kenang manis2 knangan kita dahulu..

kini, mungkin dari pandangan kasar..

kami tidak pernah berubah..

namun.. hanya kami yang tahu..

betapa lainnya kehidupan kami skarang ini..

betapa.. jauh di hati kami..

kami inginkan masa dahulu..

tapi kami tahu.. itu semua tidak mungkin lagi kn?

deep down..kami rse laen sangat skarang..

hati kami..ade sesuatu yang x kena..

berbeza..ada sesuatu yang kosong..

tak tahu..bila luka akan terubat..

bila tangis menjadi tawa..

bila aku menjadi diriku semula..

yang gembira, yang gila, yang bahagia

itu semua tidak penting..

tapi dia harus tahu..

hati yang kosong ini..hanya untuk dia..

(ku berharap..suatu hari nanti..semua ini akan

berlalu tanpa meninggalkan kesan dalam hatiku)

old times were always the best..

kami dah tuka brand mineral water..

haha..dulu wa gne select..

audy gne peladang..

now wa gne aquarius n dye gne cactus..

hahah..

as the saying goes..

"like deskie, like deskie"

hahah.. tp nw gler horror ah..

mse xm week lgih ah.. mje kteorg pnoh ngan bku..

tinggi plak uh timbunan dye..

hahah..mje kteorg ah plg menyerlah dlm klas uh..

sabtu uh bru gotong royong bersihkn mje..

haha :))

audy,,

ngah bercerite psl her orang gaji..

yg dye sayang sangat...

sadis2,, smbl mkn kropok yg org gaji dye

suke sangat makan..well,

nw dye dah lost contact ngan org gaji dye..

dye rindu sangat.. kn?

tak tau npe ble audy nk cal org gji lme dye..

or dye sro her mom cal kan..

her mom xnk n tak bagi..

well, dye lgih rapat ngan maid dye drpd her mom..

tu lah lyfe skarang..maid yg jge anak..

moms were to0 buzy.. haish..

be a good mom n spend quality time with your

children if u dont wanna lose them...