hmm. 3 days past im kelantan.

went to kb mall.
ate tom yam.
went to pantai tok bali if i'm not mistaken,
haha.
going to pasir puteh tomorrow.

bought cereal n milk just now.
for breakfast tomorrow.
haha.yummay!! :P

chu~listen to this. the queen of my heart,

So here we stand
In our secret place
With a sound of the crowd
So far away
And you take my hand
And it feels like home
We both understand
It's where we belong

So how do I say?
Do I say goodbye?
We both have our dreams
We both wanna fly
So let's take tonight
To carry us through
The lonely times


I'll always look back
As I walk away
This memory
Will last for eternity
And all of our tears
Will be lost in the rain
When I've found my way
Back to your arms again
But until that day
You know you are
The queen of my heart


Queen of my heart


So let's take tonight
And never let go
While dancing we'll kiss
Like there's no tomorrow
As the stars sparkle down
Like a diamond ring
I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again


But no matter how far
(Matter how far)
Or where you may be
(Where you may be)
I just close my eyes
(I just close my eyes)
And you're in my dreams
And there you will be
Until we meet




Oh yeah
You're the
Queen of my heart
(Of my heart)
No matter
How many years it takes
(Queen of my heart)
I'll give it all to you
Oh yeah
(Queen of my heart)
Oh yes you are
The queen of my heart

wohoo! xm's over :)

i like ~
ahaha. but there's nothing interesting to be talked about.
so i'm not gonna write long.
well. i'm going to kelantan with effy this friday,
cant wait! :) we're gonna hav fun kn effy?
anyhoo, i'm gonna get some of my results tomorrow
but i'm not planning to on9
so. gonna tell you my results when i'm back.
or when there's any empty computers around :)
haha.till then.
tata~

my life right now,
is just the way it is.
just cant describe it.
thats that.
fullstop

audy kuhh..

haha. audyy,,

tadie.. aku bace blog kao..

ntah nape.. aku rase sebak sangat..

ntah nape.. aku rse parut nie bdarah balekk..

aku musykill jugakk..

tibe2. mate aku brair.pipi aku basah. hati aku perit.

knape ek? tibe2 tdie.

aku terdetik nk tgk evrything yg ade kaitan ngan kao.

hmm..mungken, aku sedih tgk kao sedih,

mungken, aku harapkan persahabatan kte yg dulu

mungken, aku sedih tgk kao kne hadapi semua ini sorg2.

aku igt lagih. 25062009.

hari jadi ku. kao datang. :) aku suka.

hehe :)) tiba2..

kao tanye.. wawa, aku nombor brpe dlm atie kao?

maaf sgt2 audy. aku minx maaf.

sbb aku tak beri jawapan yg jujur ikhlas dari hati aku.

maafkan aku kerna berbohong tnpe ku sedari.

maaf.............

kao tau, jawapan sbnr aku. same cm jwpn kao arituh.

cme, aku takot. takot dipandang serong sbagai seorang yg lupe kawan.

tpie. kini. hnye aku yg dilupakan.

tpie. takpe.. itu tidak penting.

persoalan di hati ku, hnyelahh..

kini, masehkahh jawapan itu tetap same ?

PEOPLE!! ATTENTION!! :))

oyy2. follow my new blog lahh.

wawarebirth.blogspot.com

more updates coming up! :) wee~

their happy ending.

hurm. they kinda got into a big fight.

that's why we have to end this friendship.

ok. i try to understand.

so its over. i'm better now.

tears makes me stronger.

then i texted his gf.

and told her. i was sorry for everything :)

n etc. ( you dont have to know )

haha. and as you know.

i love people easily. haha :P

but.wtv.

i dont know how to explain how this fact links to the story.

nvm then. and i talked to her.

blahblahblah.

and i ask her to forgive him, for me.

n finally she forgives him.

good for them. at least they have their happy ending.

and i'm glad for them. i just wished we(he n i) could be friends.

but if we really cant. its ok.

then i told her that she knows she loves him.

n i told him that he loves her too.

n etc. just to make sure they're ok.

haha :P

so i'm over.

disappearing slowly into thin air. haha. wee~ :)

i love both of them. :P

the last for me.

i guess. this is my last post.

i cant believe its gonna end this way.

never thought bout it.

maybe. just let me describe my feelings in bm right now.

for the last time maybe.

haaa..betapa peritnye hatiku menerima kenyataan

kenyataan yang tidak pernah terlintas di fikiran ku.

tidak pernah ku terfikir aku akn kehilangan seorang kawan

yg aku sayang. begini.

sakitnye. mungkin tidak pernah akan hilang.

mungkin tidak pernah akan luntur.

kerna kenangan itu telah tersemat rapi dan abadi di hatiku.

kini.badanku terase lemah. bagaikn jiwaku diambil dari badanku.

ku terasa. badan ku sejuk.meremang

tanganku menggigil. tidak terdaya untuk menaip.

ku gambarkan perasaan ku perlahan-lahan.

memandang screen ini. terasa betapa kosongnya fikiran ku sekarang.

maaf. dikau meminta supaya aku tidak mengalirkan air mataku.

tetapi. air mataku mengalir tanpaku sedari.

maaf aku tidak dapat menyempurnakan permintaan mu.

kerna aku adalah aku.

yang lemah dan penuh kasih sayang.

aku tidak mengerti semua ini.

kini. semuanya kabur.

dikau pergi. bersama kasih sayang ku dikau menghilang

mungkin. aku perlu lupekan semua ini bukan?

bersama kenangan manis ku juga?

derita ini. terlalu berat untuk ku tanggung.

aku tidak janji padamu yg aku akn melupakan mu.

tapi. ku janji ku akan cuba jua.

seharusnya, aku telah jangka semua ini akn berlaku bukan?

ya. mungkin aku telah tahu.

mungkin. selama ini aku memang tahu.

cuma. tidak ku sangka pengakhirannya akn jadi begini.

tebih teruk dari yg ku sangkakan.

sebelum ini. tatkala ku memikirkan pengakhirannya.

jiwa ku resah.gelisah.gundah.gulana.

setiap ayat setiap kata. semua dusta.

kini. ape yang ku rasakan?

jiwa ku. tiada. bagaikan dirobek keluar dari diriku.

perit...sakit...namun. apakah daya?

itulah kelemahan diriku.

aku berharap. suatu hari nanti.

semua ini akn berlalu jua.

aku kesal akn semua yang terjadi.

tapi aku berterima kasih kerana bertemu dengan dikau.

setidaknya. aku mempunyai teman baru.

tapi kini aku akn kehilangan seorang teman lama.

kini. kita adalah kenangan.

dibawa angin. terbang tinggi ke langit.

aku berharap. suatu hari nanti.

bila dikau pandang ke langit.

dikau akn igt pada ku.

kerna aku, sebagai seorang sahabat.

akan sentiasa berada di situ selagi dikau masih ingat padaku.

kini. akhirnya, aku perlu berhadapan dengan kebenaran.

yg ku gentar selama ini.

aku..............................................................................

aku...........................................................

aku...................................

tidak tergambar perasaan ku kini.

aku buntu.

hatiku. telah kosong.

dikau kata, aku akn bertemu dgn org lain.

mungken benar. tetapi. mengapakah persahabatan ini perlu berakhir?

aku maseh tidak mengerti.

tetapi. kebahagiaan dikau. adalah kebahagiaan diriku.

segala yang terbaik untuk dirimu.

adalah yang terbaik buat diriku.

ya. kini aku pasrah.

aku berdoa.supaya dikau sentiasa bahagia.

sentiasa. dan selamanya.

aku harap. aku dapat ungkaikan segalan perasaan dan luahan di lubuk hati ku ini,

namun.aku tidak terdaya untuk menerus kn segala ini.

aku.......................................

(*/missing text/*)

flashbacks :(

i was out today..
buying some stuff n etc.
blah blah blah.
and then i felt a vibration in my pocket.
well, obviously, its my phone,
* 1 new message *
from 017211****
ohh. its *him* .
i'm quite shocked. coz. its been weeks since we last texted.
2 weeks n 2 days.
and when i saw his number.
suddenly all those memories came flashing back.
n how i've missed him. awe~ :P
btw, guess what did he say.
"oit. elow. heheh. ade org nk no. wa bule? name ie **. cousn *** uwh. huhu"
i was kinda upset i guess.
but i dont exactly know why. hurm..
then i replied,
"hurm? suke atie *** lah. as long as u're happy"
somesort like that i think. hahah.
n finally he replied.
"heheh.tpew2. *** x bg. jgn majuk k. k2. tc. gud job for gettin 8as. heks."
and suddenly, i dont get it.
what is he trying to say? or show? or wtv.
i dont know. hurm..
but i just misses him back.
haha. adoi! :P
wish we could stay friends.
now i kinda feel akward texing him or sumthin.
even a little.
coz.. idk. heh. well. thats it bout him.

n today. i kinda fight with my sis yesterday.
till today.
so i dont talk to her till now.
and.... i dont really know how to describe this feeling.
umm..so thats it. i'm off. thaa~

says who?

says facebook :

that there is no such thing as conditional love.

Love is either unconditional or it's no love.

You might like someone conditional on their personality or behavior or circumstances.

But love accepts no boundaries.

So never say 'I love you because', for love has no cause,

love comes from God.

sayangss!

i have a new blog keyh.
so i'm gonna have 2 blog.
both are gonna be active :)
one is the sad blog and the other is the happy blog.
haha..just check it out.
you'll know what its all about later. :)
read both blogs ok? :)

http://wawarebirth.blogspot.com/

tired..

sorrylah tapie..
post kali ni dlm bm.
tade mood..
haha.. pnat sungguh,,
5 jam dah ngadap laptop nie,
now dah pkol 4.45 am,
bjet nk cri blog pnye layout yg lwa
tpie hampeh. :(
sobs..last2 sme x gne..aduisyy..
mate pon nk lebam dah nih.haish :(
end up, stick to plain.
yess! i love plain stuff !!
and i love black!

me and my heart we got issues :)

Sometimes
I Feel like I’m going out of
My mind,

Boy the way you do me is a
damn crime,

But then you smile at me
and its all right,

With you there aint nothin' in between,

Every time that I walk out the door,
Tell myself I can't take it no more,

There’s a part of me won't let you go
Keep saying yes when my minds saying no,

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Its so wrong, boy you leave me hangin' for so long,
You empty out my love until its all gone,
You change the words but still it's the same song,
I’m tired of the melody.

Change my number and throw out your clothes,
But my feelings for you, it still shows,
I keep building the walls round my heart,
But then I see you, and it all falls apart...

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.
Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Why fight it, cant hide it
Truth is I think I like it,
Confusion, illusions
Still I don’t know which way to go….

Me and my heart we got issues,
Don’t know if I should hate you or miss you,
Damn, I wish that I could resist you,
Can't decide if I should leave you or kiss you.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues.
We got issues, issues, issues.

Me and my heart we got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues,
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues

Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know whether I should hate you or miss you.

continuation :))

wahh..i can make a story here..
feel like i wanna tell you everything..
haha.. my dear blog :)) wee!~
so this is next.
yesterday. we did text a little.
and then i ask him if he is still not allowed to text me.
and he said, yup. sorry.
so i was like, ok. can i ask you a favor?
and he asked, whats the favor?
i answered, do you mind if we text like usual on the last day of holz before i go back to school?can you forget bout the rule for a sec?
n he was like, maybe ok, i'll ask my gf first, is it ok?
i wanted to say no, its ok, dont ask, just think for yourself n etc,
but then i didnt get to reply it coz i have tution .
3 hours later.....
i continue texting his gf n i reply his text,
and told him not to ask n etc.
without knowing...
it was too late, he asked his gf already..
haishh :( and his gf told me...
i kinda feel guilty though.
although his gf actually allows him to.
thats because we're really good friends already.
and she said that she dont mind me and him being friends.
i mean, that good right?
but i dont feel right, i feel like there's something not right, why? n what?
hahah..btw, although she agrees
that makes me dont really wanna text him,
cause.................hurmm.......complicated,
you get what i'm trying to say?
i know you're a clever blog! ahahaha :)
i'm going crazy already. yeay! lol +_+
so... i dont really know if we're going to be texting each other before i go back to school.
n i dont really care though.
or am i acting like i dont care?
i dont know. i dont even know whats real and whats not anymore.
haha.blahblahblah..
i really dont know what i should do.
so, help me?

i wanna smile on the outside so no one would know how i feel inside
i wanna cry but i will be strong
i wanna change the lyrics but the melody is still the same
i wanna hate you but i miss you
i wanna be with you but i hope you're far away from me
i'm a small child full of confusion
and confusion helps me to grow stronger and better

uncomplete story

whoa! its been ages since i wrote on my blog..

but.. what the hell..

thing have gotten worse lately..

i mean.. right now,, i have lots of issues! haha :)

but who cares~ i mean,, i care. if i dont then i wouldnt be my issues right?

but still.. its been the old boring crazy happy me.. :)

always smiles on the outside. haha :)

i can even laugh when i cry. how cool is that? hee~

soo...what do you wanna know first?

my sister's story? or mine?

well.. before i tell you the story. there's sumthin that you should know,

i dont fight for boys, dont argue for boys, n will never ever sacrifice my friendship for boys.

so here goes the story..

currently. i had this highschool crush on a boy.

and, whats worse.. he's nice... i mean. real nice!~ :)

i can even talk to him like a friend.

its really hard for me to talk to a boy like a friend you know.

but of course. i wasnt expecting anything from him.

since i know he already hav a gf that he loves.

n technically. her gf had just become my friend, a few days ago i guess..

so, that makes it worse cz *i wont sacrifice my friendship for boys*

things were going well before that.. n before she became my friend.

not that when she become my friend she changes everything, no..

its just as a timeline. hahah :))

well.. we texted n talk n it was nice.. at least i liked it.

haha :) well, he just makes me feels better.

just as a friend. hahah. and then. suddenly..this one day......

he told me. that we cant text each other anymore.

because his brother keep complaining and his gf wont allow him n he had promised her.

so i was kinda pissed act. but.. i'm not really good at showing it i guess..

haha..n i was like. fine. wtv. its your decision. as long as you're happy, etc.

truthfully. i was really pissed off. it was a heartbreak though.

i mean. he was my friend right. a real good friend of mine.

i would really like to continue as friends.

i really hate losing friends u know,~

so..its over, although he says that, we can be friends, meet, talk and all those.

just not text and call, but its hard to be friends when you cant even text.

seriously...then~ the first day was hard.

i cant even look at my phone. n i didnt reply some of my friends msg, sorry.

n didnt even pick up their calls. sorry again. the phone was not with me,

haha.. i feel like crying but NO. i have to be tough, haha,

but it does hurt to just like suddenly stop like that.

then the next day. i hav to follow them, including him.

to genting. her gf was there, no offence, i dont care,

haha, but i was bored, because, its not like that i wanted to come,

its i have to come. so....wtv, i was kinda alone though. how boring~ my legs ache!

walk to much, alone, n non stop, haha :)

we did talk to each other. i did try to act normal,

so, its normal. and that night was when i started to be friends with her, *his gf*

cz they got into a fight n..........it was hard.

trying to be friends with both. i dont even know who to walk with.

n who to really talk with. but i utamekn perempuanlah. haha.

adoii!~ then the next day she texted me n we've been friends till now.

you can even say good friends, its complicated and hard.

try to be in my place. you're being a really good friend with your crush's gf.

and the person that wont allow him to text me even as a friend.

its quite in-the-box-thought you know.

haha :) anyway. i still misses him and i'm texting his gf 24/7 :)

haha..i'm screwed! i'm lost!i dont even know what i'm doing.

and her gf knows that i misses him and all those,

but i think she just cant accept me being her bf's friend.

which i still cant understand why.. i mean. WHY?

haha, but its ok. i dont wanna think about it anymore.

my job is to be a good friend to everyone.

i dont really care bout myself anymore,

who cares what i feel. haha..it's just me :) the invisible me..

btw, *he* , nice being friends with you. it was nice knowing you, n thx 4 everything, dont know if we're still gonna be friends. but i hope we can text on the day before i go back to school. there's just too many things that i wanna tell you! haha :)

*she* i'm still your friend :) dont worry too much bout me. ily as much as you luv me :) sorry for everything. disturbing your life or wtv. haha. good to know that u really wanna be friends with me :) stay friends n remember *i dont argue for boys* cz u almost argue with me because of him. haha

lbnl. i dont know what to do right now.

cz i'm so lost.

gawshh!~

agagagaga....
made a decision :))
risking myself..
wont mind getting hurt,
haha :))
live my life to the fullest! hehe ^_^

btw, havent start stdy yet,
hmm. worried but lazy. hehe.
scared to start tution without friends,
lazy to make new friends though,
haha.at least, not on the first day :)
mayb on the 2nd day, haha
hmm. hav lots of stories.
but maybe too personal to share it here. haha
so.. till then,
wish me the best of luck in everything, haha~

sad :(

hmm..
things are getting worst,
i'm falling apart,
just wait till tomorrow,
the last day of school.
i'm gonna tell both of you how you've neglected me.
and how obvious it is.
till then....

what do i do, WITHOUT 'YOU-KNOW-WHO'

You ask me how my day was as if it is same everyday
I say that I'm okay but you really don't know how I feel
Do you think I will be okay without you?
Will you be okay without me?
It is really hard to live in this world without you
That is why I blame myself for still breathing

What should I do? Even now, I live these painful days because of what you said
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Do you live every single day painfully like me?
You and me.

Are we too late? Do not we have a chance?
I still think about you and you might know this
Is it finally this? Are we going to end up like this? Is it okay with you?
I don't think I can do it. The love that I found by meeting you, I wont find it anywhere else even if I die

What should I do? If it isn't you, no one else can be in my heart
Please hold me. And you know that even though the whole world would try
No one can erase your memories. So please hold me.

What should I do? Even now, I live these painful days because of what you said
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Do you live every single day painfully like me?
You and me.

Is it too late? Do not we have a chance?
But me, I still think about you, and you might not know it.

syira, this is for you. ilysmgb now and always

Remember when we could laugh at nothing all day ?

And when I needed a helping hand, you were never far away?

Do you remember when we were almost inseparable ?

Now, I don’t know what’s going on , it’s all so unstable .

Things started moving to fast ,

It seems like I’m only living in the past .

All my closest friends are drifting to far away ,

My skies went from rainbow, to a dark, dull grey .

It seems like there’s no free time left in my day ,

Everyone I love is keeping up, and leaving me in dismay .

I just wish for things to go back to the way they were ,

Not this fast paced life that goes by like a blur .

It’s not that I can’t keep up with this sort of lifestyle ,

It’s that I don’t have the time to take a fresh breath and smile .

So I may be selfish for wanting things to go back to being right ,

But I just want everything to be alright .

No more bad news ,

And no more backstabbers to leave a bruise .

Is it so wrong to wish things were okay ?

So wrong to want bad to leave, and good to stay ?

That’s all I want, nothing more ,

I just want things to go back to how they were before …

life's suffering me!

sorry,
but i'm too tired for all this,
too tired to wipe the tears,
too tired to get my heartbroken,
too tired to even watch.
i thought you knew me.
but i was wrong.
i'm sorry for expecting more than i should,
but i am really disapointed.
in me and both of you.
thanks for everything but i've had enough already.
i love you more than i love myself,
i swear, i would even risk my life for you.
but this is what you repay me,
thank you, sincerely from me.
but i want no more.
i'll start over next year.
we'll see what happen.
i'll try to make it work though i know its quite impossible.
i have faith in you,
and i believe in everything you do.
n i beg you,
dont suffer me anymore.
trusting you is the only thing i have right now.
and the only thing i am doing.
please dont change.
please dont go.
please dont leave.
stay with me.
losing you had been the worst thing ever happened to me.
WORST!
sorry for everything i've done
i've never meant to hurt you or anyone.
the pain will never go away.
the wound will never heal.
the scar will always stay.
watching you so far away.
i wish you all the happiness you can get.
sorry for being such a jerk.
remember, how i look on the outside is not what i feel on the inside.
i hope they do take great care of you.
anyone who wanna hurt you have to go through me first keyh.
do take care coz you're the only one i care for.

i love you now, always and forever.
i wish i could turn back the time.
but we both know. its too late.

forgive me..

wawa! dont give up!

Don’t dwell on your criticisms.
When someone‘s giving you a negative feedback
take it as an opportunity to learn and grow,
not a reason to quit.